FINAL PORTFOLIO Post 7

The State of Our Unions

What do dating websites for married people mean for the institution of marriage, and what does society say about cheaters?

“Have you ever found yourself on a really bad blind date? Now imagine that date lasting the rest of your life. Isn’t it time for AshleyMadison.com?” That’s the dialogue from a commercial for Ashley Madison, a dating website, much like Eharmony or match.com, but dedicated to facilitating extramarital affairs. A website for cheating (or is it kindred?) hearts to link up for some no-strings-attached affairs sounds like a seedy, morally vacuous service. Believe me, I’m sure there are PTC moms and parishioners everywhere that are at odds with the service, but perhaps we should all take a deeper look.

When asked if Ashley Madison (whose slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.”) promotes adultery, Noel Biderman, the founder and CEO of the company responds with a solid “No”. He explains his position: “Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray … Providing a service like ours does not make someone more likely to stray any more than increasing the availability of glassware contributes to alcoholism.”

According to the National Science Foundation, one in 10 married men and women have sex with someone who is not their spouse in any given year. Over the long haul, estimates from various sources say that anywhere from 15 to 40 percent of married adults will have affairs, ranging from one-night stands to long-term relationships that coexist with marriages. Men are still more likely to have sex outside of marriage than are women, but newer data suggest that women are closing the infidelity gap in every age group.

One in 10. Those odds certainly don’t create optimists out of vulnerable men and women. Something it does create, however, is a market. Ashley Madison is simply following the Great American Business Model: find a need, fill it, and make lots of money. The company itself is just that—a company. It doesn’t rip apart families or break doting wives hearts, the cheating spouse does. Taking it a bit further, Biderman states that many site members are trapped in sexless marriages, feel that they are being neglected, or some may even be questioning their sexuality, but don't actually want to leave their spouses and families. Thus, he suggests that the company "preserves more marriages than we break up."

The former statement by Biderman may be overkill. The service may indirectly improve some aspects of a couple’s relationship, but preservation of marriage is definitely not included in Ashley Madison’s mission statement. One thing that we do have to take into consideration is what Ashley Madison and similar websites actually mean for the institution of marriage itself. Should we be looking to “make it work” and find happiness in our unions, or should we be divorcing? Why continue honoring this ancient tradition if one in every 10 spouses is cheating?

As a society, we can’t ignore that we have a problem here. We do, however, have options, and some are more admirable than others. There are always reality TV shows such as Cheaters, Temptation Island, or Maury (kidding). But seriously, the options are quite limited: marriage counseling, divorce, or good old-fashioned cheating seem to be the big three in terms of action. Of course though it requires the most effort and time, marriage counseling is probably the best way to deal with problems in a marriage. According to the US department of Labor Census in 2000, after receiving counseling, roughly 65% of couples reported "significant" improvement based on averaged scores of marital "satisfaction." It’s a pathway that can really work for couples who may be lacking in communication, or have specific hurdles in their relationship. Despite all of the optimism that marriage counseling can bring, this is still America, and lazy people abound. Many people would rather take the easy way out, or perhaps don’t know that other options are available to them. Divorce is a popular way out of a marriage, but in these trying economic times, many married couples are foregoing or delaying divorce, because of the costly court and attorney fees. This fact brings us back to cheating, and Ashley Madison offers a less expensive way to seek some “carnal comfort” and an escape from a doomed marriage.

Biderman’s stance on his company is more than just a defense, it is pure promotion of the service. Nevertheless, after wading through some of his more outlandish remarks, some of his points do make sense. He brings up a debate that is similar to that of providing condoms in school; is it better to promote safe sex because teenage sex is inevitable, or is it better to promote abstinence? Some think that by advocating safe sex, they are promoting more teens to engage in sexual behavior that wouldn’t have before. These same people would rather believe that teens wouldn’t have sex if abstinence was promoted and sex (safe or not) was frowned upon. Simply correlated to this concept, Biderman argues that it is better to promote a safer and more discreet form of cheating than advocating faithfulness to every single couple, when he knows that that is impossible. Clearly, adultery has been around as long as the institution of marriage itself, and it’s not going anywhere. To offer a “safe alternative” to office romances, or linking up with people that a prospective cheater’s family may know, Ashley Madison isn’t convincing happily married men and women to stray, but rather is creating a better way to engage in an age old practice that an unhappily wed person would do regardless.

Ultimately, Ashley Madison is not to blame for its 5,410,347 users’ cheating ways, because both research and human nature tell us that these people would have found a way to cheat without the service’s help. Therefore, let us not condemn the website alone, but let it serve us as an eye-opener and a catalyst for us to contemplate and address society’s problems with fidelity.

Some Ashley Madison Commercials:

Ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s__pivAkhQ&feature=related

Ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ7IuSG5Ra8&feature=related

Statement Ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhbZSGd35MY&feature=related

Noel Biderman and Ashley Madison on CNN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLUYKxGrCg8

Final PORTFOLIO Post 6

A Musical New Way To Indulge Your Sweet Tooth

A review of Skull Candy G.I. headphones.

As a college athlete, I do a lot of traveling—three to four hour bus rides are the norm, and of course there’s the occasional drive from Virginia to Florida. Imagine: 18 other women, cramped in our seats, in a smelly old tour bus with terrible climate control, bored out of our minds. This doesn’t seem like the ideal place to grab a little “me” time, but if faced with the other option—socializing—you’d find that busses make for crabby people, and crabby people don’t make for good conversation.

That’s when I reach for my trusty iPod and… tada! my Skull Candy headphones. These headphones have been an absolute staple in my experience as a traveler, whether in the above scenario, walking to class, or flying back home to Detroit. They are larger than the average headphone, yes, but they are surprisingly lightweight and not too bulky. It’s not so great for those that like to lean the side of their head against the seat while grooving, but other than that, I’d say these puppies are pretty comfortable. They are big and cushy around my ears, which I like, and there’s no exposed plastic on the underside part—basically, if it’s going to connect directly with your head, it’s going to be cozy.

What makes these headphones so great for traveling (besides the comfort and lightness) is that they block out a considerable amount of ambient noise as compared to regular headphones, such as the earbuds that come with iPods. They also have a volume adjustment wheel that is located halfway down the wire that extends from the earphones to the iPod. This is nice for some quick control if one song is much louder than another, or if you find yourself drifting to sleep. The actual speaker that covers the ear is also designed for comfort and convenience—the connection of the speakers to the headpiece is relatively flexible, and allows for a pretty wide range of movement away from the ear and face. In my experience, this has been nice (especially combined with the volume wheel) when coach is making a bus-wide announcement, or when the captain is calling out landing information on the loudspeaker.

The G.I.s get another gold star in travel for their handy carrying case. This protective little drawstring sack is made out of a really smooth material that will keep the headphones in good shape. Unfortunately, it doesn’t’ keep them from being crushed or jostled around by half-asleep teammates or surly airport personnel, but that’s all good, because they have a great warranty.

The warranty may sound a little overkill for headphones, but at the average retail price of 65 buckaroos, you better believe these suckers came with one. And it isn’t a bad deal: register the product with the activation code included in the box, and you’ll get a lifetime warranty that includes full replacement of faulty products, and even if you break it due to your own stupidity, Skull Candy understands. They’ll give you a replacement for half the price of the original.

As an athlete, I am an active person and do enjoy to run and work out in the off-season, and I love to listen to music as I do so. Unfortunately, these aren’t the equipment for that kind of purpose. The G.I.s were designed to be similar to what a DJ would use, and they’re more for recreational, limited movement activities. The DJ style isn’t just indicative of their size and shape, but it also refers to the quality of sound that the drives in the speakers produce. They are 40mm in diameter, and their temporal frequency uses 18-20K Hz, which basically means that they are a great size and frequency that together produce a nice, crisp sound, especially at mid levels of volume, bass, etc.

And of course, I couldn’t possibly leave out my personal favorite attributes to these headphones. They come in the sickest of designs and paint colors. I’ve seen chrome, pink and fluffy (I’m not kidding), denim, graffiti print, and more. Personally, I have the “Rasta” G.I.s. They feature the typical Rasta colors of red, yellow, and green, and perhaps my favorite accouterment, a handy bottle opener that slides out of an extremely well concealed compartment on the top. This company is serious about the functionality of their products, but they also couldn’t have been more appropriately named. The G.I. headphones are definitely candy for the skull.

Final PORTFOLIO Post 5

If Bill and Ted Met My Grandmother… It’d

Be Tres Chic

A review of Balenciaga’s 2010 Autumn/Winter line.

An art form that is simultaneously excitingly dynamic and banally cyclical, runway fashion loves to confuse and tantalize its audience. We have come to “ooh and ahh” over what seems to be our grandmother’s wardrobe mixed with our kindergarten costume box, but in better fabric with expert tailoring, sported by giraffe like androgynous models with a deer-in-headlights gaze. But doesn’t that make perfect sense?

Overdone clichés such as “contemporary classic” and strange oxymorons like “retro futurism” take center stage all too often when critics describe runway fashion. Nicolas Ghesquiere's collection for Balenciaga is one of the first collections I have seen this year that has taken one of these oxymorons as a tagline, and instead of thinking, “justify it however you can, Nic”, I thought, “wow, I get it! I can see this collection as having had some real thought behind the concept!” "Retro futurism" didn't mean the Jetsons, and "classics" didn't mean trench coats or button-downs—it encompassed elements of domesticity that were brought into the present with what has now become Ghesquiere’s signature futuristic aesthetic.

I usually hate this kind of fashion mumbo-jumbo, but peppered through the collection were “updated versions” of quilting, which were reminiscent of the old quilted puffy vest, but called upon newer fabric choices, like leather. The textures in the collection didn’t stop there—grandma made a triumphant appearance (as she usually does on runway fashion) with a doily/lace napkin ensemble, and a simple wool sweater was brought into the future with bright green, sort of geometric threading.

The shoes were probably the line’s saving grace. None of the pieces could totally stand alone as an embodiment of the theme, but the shoes were in a league all their own. Oxfords and loafers are generally staples in the wardrobe of every classic preppy lover, but in Ghesquiere’s world, faux bois elevated with geometric shapes and of what can only be described as minerals created an entirely new and fresh take on elemental style.

“Retro futurism.” I hate to admit it, but I totally bought it. Honeydew and cantaloupe colors reminiscent of the pop art movement mixed with Ghesquiere’s darkly sleek and futuristic signature provided just the right amount of severity for me to disregard my usual disdain for runway fashion critique. I see what you’ve done here, Mr. Ghequiere! He said his goal was "to ennoble every day objects"… mission accomplished.

FINAL PORTFOLIO Post 4

The Roadmap to Infamy

How to grace the covers of tabloids and ultimately get your 15 minutes (or more) in the limelight.

I have decided to become infamous, because TBH, it’s easier to become infamous than legit famous these days. I was valuably using my time (read: perusing Perezhilton.com) yesterday, and noticed that most of my daily obsessions are totes not even real celebs, but rather some subset of famousness.

I could tell you who Tiger Woods’ number one ho is (Rachel Uchitel), what size breasts Heidi Montag has (cup size F), the approximate current location of Katie Holmes (under lock and key in the Cruise estate), and, most impressively, give an extremely accurate estimate of the cocaine to alcohol ratio that Lindsay Lohan currently has in her bloodstream. This impeccable knowledge of high-profile hot messes combined with my own natural talent for nosing out bad situations (and a remarkable tolerance for alcohol) could really open doors for future notoriety. Facing this realization, I popped an Adderall, poured a glass of cheap pinot grigio, and got down to business. My roadmap to infamy is as follows.

The decision on just how shameless I’m going to get is an easy one: go big or go home. Considering the fact that I will (hopefully) be graduating in May, I’ll need a job and quite frankly, I could totally get paid for this shiz. I’m not disgracing my family for peanuts, people. That’s not to say that I won’t try to hold down a crappy job or two every few months, just 'til I get my stiletto heels on the ground. There’s probably a few career paths I could take, but I’m thinking the quickest way to work my way up the shaky ladder of infamy is to move out to Jersey Shore, maybe be a boardwalk bitch for a while. I could learn a thing or two from those people. During this research phase, I will be constantly networking with fellow boardwalk bitches to see who has the closest ties to Snooki, because I have complete faith in the fact that if we met, we would be instant friends, and I could subsequently get my face on MTV.

After I learn from the best and get a little time in the limelight, I will def move to somewhere even more urban and edgy, like New York or LA. This is a strategic move, friends, because it’s like the “new kid” phenomenon. I’m interesting because not only am I another hot mess with a back-story and a bump-it, but I am a NEW one. Novelty, while short lived, is a necessary component to being infamous. But for realz, I recognize that it will be challenging at first to suddenly find myself as a shot of Popov in a land of liters of Ketel One, but it will definitely build (more) character.

Now that I’ll be in closer proximity to notorious bad-boys and girls of the tabloids, I’ll make sure that I’m rubbing elbows (and other body parts) with them in the clubs. I figure the mixture of alcohol and musky smell of desperation will lead to some raunchy behavior with somebody’s boyfriend. Or one better: if I could land an affair with a married Z-lister, it would automatically catapult me to the next rung of the ladder of infamy. Basically what I’m saying is, A leads to B, which leads to C, and before you know it, I’m best buddies with Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Cavallari. I plan to learn all that I can from them, make it into the tabloids and be "seen," which will give me time to build my reputation some more. Meanwhile, I will be silently channeling my inner Trojan Horse to prepare for a hostile takeover of my mentor's turf, which will occur only when I’ve become infamous enough to outdo them.

Hopefully I will have accrued a few “frienemies” by this point, and the tabloids will have both my platonic and romantic relationships to gossip about. As soon as I’m googled as much as Kate Gosselin, I’ll most likely land a reality show. It obvi won’t be about any one thing in particular, but it will be highly entertaining and full of drama (duh). The show, while fun, will become a major snooze to me after a while, and I’ll decide to go the train wreck route. I know, I know, who actually wants to be a train wreck? Well I know it sounds crazy, but think about this from a depraved reality star’s perspective: it totally sets you up for a recovery (read: a shot at being on Celebrity Rehab), and plus, who doesn’t love an underdog? Yes, I’m brilliant, I’m aware.

But seriously, peeps, this isn’t just some get-rich-quick scheme for me. Becoming infamous requires dedication and hard work just like any other pursuit in life. I’m going to have to stick to it and follow my amoral guidelines; I’ll have to avoid doing the right thing at all times, even if it seems like a good idea at the time. Don’t get me wrong, being infamous doesn’t mean being a role model, but also it doesn't mean being a villain. I still want people to like me, it's just a matter of making the "wrong" people like me and the good people hate me (they're just jeal anyways).

FINAL PORTFOLIO Post 3

Sweet Briar Coach Encourages Holistic Wellness in Self, Students

Bonnie Kestner takes the first steps toward building a Holistic Wellness Program for SBC.

Bonnie Kestner swims only in the Boathouse Lake. If you are one of the many that enjoy sunny days on the dock, you may see her in the warmer months, cutting swiftly through the water or maybe languidly backstroking down by the dam. An avid and accomplished swimmer and coach, Bonnie continues to practice her favorite sport—but refuses to do so in Sweet Briar’s pool. To understand Bonnie’s personal boycott of pools, we must first understand Bonnie herself.

Bonnie is the former Head Coach, current Lead Assistant Swim Coach, and she also teaches classes in nutrition at Sweet Briar College. She swam for Yale’s swim team in college and then briefly coached there, before accepting the position at Sweet Briar, where she has now been part of the faculty for 33 years.

Why will Bonnie not swim in the pool? She answers, “If anyone asks, that’s why I’m not swimming personally now. It does take a huge toll on the skin, hair, and actually, surprisingly, on the thyroid.” To go along with this, Bonnie would like to substitute chlorine in our pool for a saline system, because it is much less caustic on the human body. As there are no alternative pools nearby, Bonnie has decided to refrain from swimming at all when she cannot use the lake, and has noticed the difference: “I haven’t been swimming for the last few months and I already feel the difference in my hair and skin. I’ve also been doing new things nutritionally, so I can’t isolate it and say that it’s 100% from the lack of chlorine, but I believe in my heart that it has got to be having positive effects.”

Bonnie’s desire to live as healthfully as possible comes from her interest in holistic medicine. “[Holistic wellness] looks at all dimensions of a person”, she explains, while drinking from her eco-friendly water bottle. It is essentially a practice or lifestyle in which one believes that the body, mind, and spirit must all work together as one. Bonnie became interested in a natural and holistic lifestyle when a friend’s son was struggling with many health issues, including diabetes, and conventional medicine wasn’t helping. Bonnie then began researching the disease, and stumbled upon books on alternative healing. Her interest in helping a friend sparked a flame that spread into a wildfire of research, which in turn translated into a lifestyle. She maintains, “you have to take responsibility for your health and really do the research for yourself.”

Through my own research, I found that “holistic” is defined by Webster as “emphasizing the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts”. This is the approach that Bonnie takes to her health, and explains why she believes that something as simple as chlorine can take an impressive toll on the body. Not only does it affect the skin and hair directly, but those problems also have the capability of leading into others. “I’m convinced that my thyroid could be functioning better. It’s something that doesn’t show up on the doctor’s tests, but I’ve read literature that says chlorine can affect the thyroid.” Trivial as these things may seem, Bonnie continues on to say, “It’s just my desire to do the best things I can for my body.” This is the true heart of Bonnie’s desires… not to simply have an alternative pool, but to have healthful opportunities for herself and for the community as a whole.

As a champion of health and wellness, Bonnie’s dreams for Sweet Briar reach much farther than an alternative pool. Our conversations morphed from the possibility of a new pool system, to a holistic nutrition and exercise class, to hiring a holistic health professional, to a wellness resource center, and finally to her ultimate plan. “My overall biggest idea would be … for the college to have a certificate program in sustainable living… It would encompass multiple disciplines; environmental science, economic aspects of it, certainly the health, wellness, fitness aspects. And it could have so many career opportunities because this is the wave of the future.”

Natural and holistic health certainly is becoming an interest and a priority to many people. The emergence and saturation of organic and whole foods, green initiatives, and homeopathic medicine in the everyday mainstream market has grown exponentially in the past few years. Bonnie sees this growing interest as an opportunity for Sweet Briar: “At Sweet Briar, since we’re looking for innovative things, this field is the wave of the future. The more people go into it, they’ll want to help other people and to help themselves.” While Sweet Briar may not be big enough to support a major field of study for something of this nature, a certificate program may help garner interest and also help retain students. Bonnie recognizes this as well, “One of my students from last year, she transferred, because she was looking for a program at another school where she can go into this kind of study. If we could develop something similar and have the personnel here to facilitate something like that, we’d really be on top of it.”

Bonnie takes a real interest in the people around her, as evidenced by her foray into alternative medicine for her friend’s son. A former swimmer, Laura Wolf ’11 also notes this characteristic of Bonnie: “Not only is she an excellent swim coach, but she’s an amazing mentor. You may not see her very much, but she always makes herself available.” When asked to describe her as a coach, Laura said, “She is encouraging in so many aspects… she’s supportive, and inspiring. She has endurance not only in the pool, but also on the side when everyone’s cheering you on… she will cheer you on through a whole race. All the way at the end of the pool. She’ll stick with you and track your growth from start to finish.”

The way that Laura describes Bonnie as a coach translates seamlessly to the way that a past student, Jodie Stevenson ’12 described her as a professor. In her class, Nutritional Challenges of the 21^st Century, Jodie said that Bonnie “was committed to get us to realize the challenges we face, in terms of how we can change our nutritional path, or lifestyle.” It is obvious that Bonnie cares about other people, but she also cares very much about the Sweet Briar community in general. She believes so strongly in the natural and holistic wellness, that she is willing to work hard for these resources to be available to the community.

The holistic lifestyle looks much different than that of the average college student. Little sleep, cafeteria food, Sheetz runs, and excessive alcohol can throw a student’s body out of its natural rhythm, thereby limiting its functions. This is certainly not conducive to being a productive student, and surely isn’t in line with the ideals of a Liberal Arts education (cultivating a sound mind and sound body). Bonnie believes that, with the addition of wellness resources, students will begin to understand the importance of a holistic lifestyle and in turn, will adopt it. Thankfully, She has just been approved to teach a course next year on Holistic Wellness.

FINAL PORTFOLIO Post 2

Coach, Professor, and Friend
A brief look into Bonnie Kestner, and her impact at Sweet Briar College.

Bonnie Kestner is the former Head Coach, current Lead Assistant Swim Coach, and she also teaches classes in nutrition at Sweet Briar College. She comes from an impressive background, having swum for Yale’s swim team in college and then coaching there, before accepting the position at Sweet Briar. She has now been part of the SBC faculty for 33 years, and has continued swimming competitively.

Bonnie is an extremely warm and kind person, who cares very much for her students and athletes. A former swimmer, Laura Wolf notes, “Not only is she an excellent swim coach, but she’s an amazing mentor. You may not see her very much, but she always makes herself available.” When asked to describe her as a coach, Laura said, “She is encouraging in so many aspects… she’s supportive, and inspiring. She has endurance not only in the pool, but also on the side when everyone’s cheering you on… she will cheer you on through a whole race—all the way to the end of the pool. She’ll stick with you and track your growth from start to finish.”

Bonnie is also inspiring and dedicated out of the pool—she loves to teach at Sweet Briar as well. A past student, Jodie Stevenson described her as a professor. In her class, Nutritional Challenges of the 21st Century, Jodie said that Bonnie “was committed to get us to realize the challenges we face, in terms of how we can change our nutritional path, or lifestyle.” It is obvious that Bonnie cares about other people, but she also cares very much about the Sweet Briar community in general. She believes so strongly in the natural and holistic wellness, that she is willing to work hard for these resources to be available to the community.

After a friend’s son was diagnosed with many serious health issues, including diabetes, Bonnie began researching alternative health methods with the hopes of helping the young man. However, her findings affected her the most. Growing quite interested in holistic wellness, Bonnie started to make some changes to her lifestyle. “[Holistic wellness] looks at all dimensions of a person”, she describes. It is essentially a practice or lifestyle in which one believes that the body, mind, and spirit must all work together as one.

Bonnie’s hope is to one day have a holistic wellness center available as a resource to students and faculty that are interested in practicing or learning more about a holistic lifestyle. Progress toward that goal is being made: Bonnie will be teaching a holistic wellness and exercise class in the fall of 2010.

FINAL PORTFOLIO Post 1

Dear Professor Griffith,

In general, this class has been my favorite, especially as far as assignments go. I loved the open ended-ness, because it really allowed for me to explore the innumerable subject opportunities within each category of writing. I had so much fun developing the voice that I found by way of these assignments. It has made writing papers a really enjoyable experience. My two favorite pieces from this semester are my Balenciaga Review, and my Infamy Column. I started writing in this voice for another blog that I write, and I have increased readership by about 1.7% (I know…astounding!) according to Google Analytics.

It’s safe to say, however, that my writing started off painfully at first. My profile and my feature certainly were a testament to that. Perhaps I feel less fondly toward them because they are more sober pieces, but I really do believe that by reading more work in the Journalistas book and pieces from online media, I have taken some steps towards improvement by heeding others’ examples. Workshops and feedback from you and my peers also helped me tremendously in figuring out how to strike a balance between being entertaining and cohesively presenting information.

I had no prior experience in writing journalistically in the past, so I came to this class expecting to have a considerable bit more trouble than others. I was a little nervous by my first two pieces, but I think that my interest in writing has grown as my skills have. I think that I made considerable progress in my organization, my transitions, and avoidance of cliché, and have begun to sharpen my writing in general.

There are still a few skills that I need to work on developing further. Clarity would be an important thing that sometimes gets lost in my organization or arguments—this was a problem in my Feature. I had trouble finding the main issue, and then after isolating that, I needed to remind myself of it constantly. Additionally, I often have a hard time linking my points together in a way that reflects the bigger picture. My Op-Ed piece is a fine example of this—it took me a lot of time and effort to figure out how to edify my points and make them work for my overall argument. Finally, although I love the voice I developed, I need to realize when to use it, and when to leave myself out of the piece a bit more.

Thank you for a fun and interesting foray into a topic that I took for pure enjoyment—I didn’t need any Gen Eds or other requirements. This was a great experience. Have a wonderful summer, and good luck with your growing family!

Best,
Melissa Carron